I had this wonderful friend that no matter when I needed her if it
was physically possible for her to talk to me, she would. She was a very
active woman, with a family of her own, but I can’t even count the times that
she wasn’t there for me when I needed her.
The confidence I had in dialing her number and her being there was
95% and if she didn’t answer, I knew she was going to call me back. I
could call her at any time day or night, and trust me I have done so. The
stability that I had in our friendship and her advice was strong, it was
unshakable.
We are both very outspoken people who can be driven, stubborn and
quick with people but I knew that whenever we had words that were not agreeing
words, we would find a way to fix it. She would give me criticism and I
would do the same to her. Though we had a twenty plus age difference, we
were learning together who we are and who we wanted to be, as people.
I lost my friend about a month ago and that stability that I had
known to love, need and take for granted is now gone. The security
of knowing I can pick up the phone at 2am or 6pm and hear her on the other end
has ruptured into a million pieces, and I am left to scramble and identify
them. I am not even trying to put them back together again, as that
picture is now shattered and a new picture must be created.
I am saying all of this to ask you this question. Can you or
do you, rely on God as much as I relied on my friend?
I know my answer is no, as shameful as that may be, and sound, the
answer, if I speak truthfully, is no.
I struggle with having trust and confidence in God. I
struggle with allowing Him to control my every day, even though He already is,
I struggle to allow my brain to believe it. I come from a past of
pretty bad abuse and abandonment so I am learning this is a pretty normal
feeling for someone like me to have.
But still it’s there and still I struggle.
For my friendship, I didn’t have to fight. I didn’t have to
try; actually I didn’t have to put in any effort at all. My dear
friend sat across from me at work, and I believe she decided from day one, I am
going to make this girl my friend. She could see that I was hurting and
broken, and I believe the Lord ministered to her spirit that she could help
heal parts of my brokenness. She pursued my friendship to the
point, I had to let her in, and I am so very thankful I did.
You see I came to trust her because I could see the evidence of
her work. I could see the effort and time she put in to cultivating a
friendship that wasn’t just surface that was deep and meaningful. I could
submit my trust and let down my guard with her because I saw the process before
my eyes, and she was earning my trust and friendship.
This is normally how we gain trust and faith in people, by
allowing them to earn it. But you see, when you are working in the world
of God that is not how His economy works. He wants you to trust and
believe first and then receive. He wants to see you do the work, and prove
your heart for Him, and then see His glory shine.
I personally am in a season with God where my trust must
grow. I must learn to relinquish what control I believe I have in my
life, over to God and allow Him to finish the picture He has started for me.
So when I was reading Matthew 8:5-13, I felt a bit jealous, not in a oh, I want
what you have and you can’t have it way, but in an I wish I could have that
too. I wish I could extend my faith like you did, way.
Matthew 8:5 states, As Jesus went into Capernaum, a centurion
came up to Him, begging Him, (6) And saying, Lord, my servant boy is lying at
the house paralyzed and distressed with intense pains. (7) And Jesus said to
him, I will come and restore him. (8) But the centurion replied to Him Lord, I
am not worthy or fit to have You come under my roof; but only speak the word,
and my servant boy will be cured. (9) For I also am a man subject to
authority, with soldiers subject to me. And I say to one, Go, and he goes; and
to another, come, and he comes; and to my slave, do this, and he does it. (10)
When Jesus heard him, He marveled and said to those who followed Him (who
adhered steadfastly to Him, conforming to His example in living and, if need
be, in dying also), I tell you truly, I have never found so much faith as
this with anyone, even in Israel.
Here we see this man, who was in desperate need of help for his
slave, and went to Jesus for help. He asked Jesus to help his slave and
heal him from his pain, and when Jesus said, yes, I will help you, the man said
I am not worthy of having You in my home. But just speak his
healing and it shall be done.
The level of faith this man had just
shocks me to my core. This man had never seen Jesus before; he never sat
down with Jesus for dinner. He didn’t have phone conversations, emails or
text back and forth for days or weeks. This was the first time he
met Jesus, and yet after just meeting Him he had the faith that strong to say,
just say the words and I know it will be done.
And it was done… Just like that.
You know that Jesus was overjoyed with this man’s faith in Him,
because this glorified His Father, God. Jesus knew that when He received
any recognition or glory for what He was doing that the glory really was being
given to God, and His ability and goodness.
So here is my question, how do we achieve this level of faith in
something we can’t see or touch? How can you ask Jesus for healing and
then walk away knowing that it will be done?
This is my
struggle…
In verse 11 we read Jesus saying, I tell you, many will come
from east and west, and will sit at the table with Abraham, Isaac and Jacob in the
kingdom of heaven. (12) While the sons and heirs of the kingdom will be driven
out into the darkness outside, where there will be weeping and grinding of
teeth. (13) Then to the centurion Jesus said Go; it shall be done for
you as you have believed. And the servant boy was restored to health
at that very moment.
Here we see how the centurion received his healing, though we
already had a clue as to how he received it, but the words of the Bible state
right here, he received the healing for the servant boy because he believed.
He didn’t have to beg for forgiveness, he didn’t have to pay Jesus
anything; He didn’t have trade Jesus anything, all he had to do was
believe.
His believing is what gave Jesus the ability to flow and fulfill
the need of the servant boy.
You know what just struck me in this, was that the man wasn’t even
asking for the healing for himself, or an immediate member of his family, he
was believing for his servant. So…if a man who has no friendship or
communication with Jesus before this favor, asked can he receive healing for
his servant child, than we too can stand as the go between for the people we
love, and know that need healing.
This never dawned on me before. The story is beautiful and
shows us that when you apply faith to the request made before God, through
Jesus, that you will surely receive your request. But... But it never came to
me that the healing was for another and not for himself.
This should be stirring in your heart right now. Someone
else’s eyes have to be opened to this and the power of this story.
You see when
we are asked to pray for someone, or when we do pray for someone, we should be
bringing to that prayer the same amount of faith, if not more, that we bring
our own prayers to God with. They have the same amount of authority and
power, even though it is for someone other than yourself.
I love this!!
I love knowing that when I am praying for my
friends, and loved ones to receive what I know they are longing for, or for
healing, this is just as if I am praying for myself. God responds to this
just as I was asking God to move for me.
We see here that what it takes to move Jesus, and God is
faith. Without faith it is impossible to please God. I guess that
could be because when we don’t give God our faith he can’t use the keys He has
to open the blessing.
God can move without your prayer and without your faith, but if He
did, who would get the glory? Probably you, me or some mystical force in
the universe. God want’s the glory for Himself, so when we go to Him in
prayer, through Jesus Christ, we are giving Him the keys to our healing, blessing,
restoration… whatever it is you name it.
I hope you see, as I have, that even though God is not putting in as
much visible face time that our friends, family members and co-workers are with us,
this doesn’t mean we can’t trust Him.
I hope and pray that if you are
like me at all and have issues trusting God, that you can like me, begin to make
the turn and realize that when I don’t submit my trust, faith and control in
God, I am not the only one who is hurting, I am also hurting all the people I am
praying for.
When I come to God in prayer, and bring along my
baggage of emotions, control, fear and doubt I am saying to God, I think I might
be able to do this better than you, foolish, yes, I know, but the
truth.
When we truly lay down our pride, guard, walls, and fears, we can
submit to Him completely, and then we can say, as the centurion did, Lord, all
you need to do is say that he is healed and he will be!!
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