Seventy Times Seven

I have a younger sister, she is, I think it’s pretty fair to say, the complete opposite of me.  There is quite a bit of age difference between the two of us and for a long time I believed that was the reason we are not able to connect as siblings should. 

I haven’t spoken to my sister in quite some time.  It’s probably almost two years at this point, and as bad as this is for me to say, it is easier for me to not have contact with her.

But is easier the way I am supposed to handle our differences?

Notice in that sentence I said, it was easier for me to not speak to her.  I truly don’t know if it is easier for her for us not to speak.  I have not given thought to how it affects her, the distance between us. 

We have been estranged on and off for many years.  I would say since she went to college.  Our personalities are completely different, and really that is not even the real issue between us, the real issue is I can’t handle her lying.  I have a problem when I cannot trust someone, let alone my own sibling. 

I don’t trust her in my home, to have a key to my home, or to even have a simple conversation with her.  I know that almost every word out of her mouth is a lie or some shadow of a lie. 

I don’t know how she became this person, as we were raised in the same home and with the same standards and morals.  She began stealing from me at around nine, and then obviously lying to cover up her stealing.  I tried everything I could to make sure that her childhood was not filled with the same experiences I had, but yet, we are completely different.

Now, I am not saying that I think I am a better person than she is, I just have different decisions I make for my life, and my decisions tend to lean more towards honesty and dependability than hers.

I feel bad for my sister.  I feel bad that she thinks this is the way that she needs to live her life, and I feel bad that we are living lives independent of each other, and that it will most likely be that way for years to come.

There is a Bible verse that always plays in my head when I allow myself to think of our relationship, or lack there of one, and that is Matthew 18:21-22.

(21) Then Peter came up to Him and said, Lord, how many times may my brother sin against me and I forgive him and let it go?  (as many as) up to seven times? (22) Jesus answered him, I tell you, not up to seven times, but seventy times seven!

I always think of these verses when I think of my sister, and the way our relationship has gone.  I think how I need to extend my hand in forgiveness and show her the right way, and I need to do this as many times as it takes.

This is hard!

I would not allow a person like my sister in my life as a friend or acquaintance and it’s hard for me to allow her in my life, just because she is my sister. 

I pray daily, that God helps her, to open her eyes to Him and allows for Him to show her the error of her ways, but maybe I should be praying the same thing for myself.

If I am to forgive my brother, which I believe means anyone walking this earth,  seventy times seven, which again, is just an example of the fact we are to forgive over and over again, than shouldn’t I be able to forgive my sister?

Matthew 18 23-34 goes on to tell of a man who owed his master 10,000 talons, which the Bible equates to being $10,000,000 to us.  When he was unable to pay back his master, the master grabbed him and wanted him to be thrown into prison for his debt.  The man then begged and pleaded with his master asking for mercy and forgiveness for his debt.   His master saw his weakness and it struck a chord in his heart, and he wiped his slate clean of the debt. 

The man, who owed the debt, then ran into another man who owed him a hundred denarii, around twenty dollars, and attacked him and demanded that he pay him back immediately, or he would throw him into prison, until he could make the payment.   

The man who owed the twenty dollars was unable to pay him back and was immediately thrown into jail until able to make his repayment.

Now, I am sure you are thinking what I was thinking, how is this possible?  How can you not have mercy on a man whose crime is the same as yours, and you just received forgiveness for a much larger offense.  How can you not extend the same forgiveness as was given to you?

The master who had originally forgave the large debt found out about the behavior of the man and asked him, how can you not take pity and mercy on your fellow man, as I have given you pity and mercy you needed.   He then sent him to jail, to be with the man who owed him twenty dollars, until he was able to pay his debt.

This all leads me to think about my sister.  She lives a life that I don’t approve of because she lies consistently, and without remorse, but how am I any different when I have also lied in my life? 

Should I not forgive my sister as I would want to be forgiven?   And then I think but isn’t it enough already… and I hear again Matthew 18:21-22 in my head.

There is no limit to my forgiveness for my sister or for anyone else who betrays my trust, as I would, and want for Jesus to forgive me of my sins and betrayal.  We are to turn our hearts over to God and allow Him to soften them to the people in the world that need to see His kindness and his forgiveness, as we so desperately want it given to us.

Matthew 18:35 says So also My heavenly Father will deal with every one of you if you do not freely forgive your brother from your heart his offenses.

My learning lesson here in this reading tonight is, if I want my heavenly Father to forgive me, then I need to forgive my sister with an open heart, free from grudges and past hurts.

I need to allow freedom from past pains and lies into my heart for her, and allow forgiveness to come in place of the animosity.  I need to allow God to continue to soften my heart for this situation, and my sister and show me how to forgive and be an example of Him, to her.

We will all have people in our lives that cause us to forgive them more times than we ever care to, but like we have seen, and read in Matthew 18, if we are not able to forgive others with an open heart, then we cannot expect for God to forgive us with His.