Difficult Days... We all have them.

Today was a difficult day, as I am sure many of you can relate, for many different reasons.  Today I started me day like I normally do and just felt uneasy about the day.  There were things that have happened today that I was unsure of and many thoughts had entered my mind that I wasn’t prepared to battle. 

Today was a day I wanted to give up on the plans that I believe God has revealed for my life.  Today was a day I wanted to sit in self-pity and wallow in what is not going right or happening in my life.   My desires for things in life are changing and while I appreciate that, it also makes it hard when you feel like your life is in limbo. 

Instead of choosing to fight off the attacks on my mind, I chose to indulge them, which is never a good idea.  I know better, but as I can now see, I need to not only know better, but do better as well.   I have the armor of God to shield me from my attacker but yet I chose the stance of victim.   I am so thankful that

God is a forgiving God, and that he is Faithful, when I am not.

After saying all of this I shouldn’t be surprised when I entered into my daily reading to this verse in John 12:27.  Now My soul is troubled and distressed, and what shall I say?  Father, save Me from this hour (of trial and agony)?  But it was for this very purpose that I have come to this hour (that I might undergo it). 

I actually chuckled out loud after reading this and said, OK, I get it.   I have said a couple times now there is a secret language or hidden meanings in God’s Word and though I know from a logical sense that this verse was not about my struggles today, it fit them perfectly.

I wanted to give up on the plans that I believe God has called me into.  I wanted to just throw my hands in the air and say, you know this isn’t fair, it’s not fun and I am done!   I wanted to walk away from all the things that God has shared with me over the past couple of months, and if not years.  Why?  Because it hurts to wait!  It hurts to be patient for something and have no idea why you are waiting or when you will be delivered. 

But then I read this verse and I have to say, OK, God.  OK.  I don’t get to give up.  I don’t get to throw my hands in the air and say, that’s it.  I don’t get to wave the white flag of surrender or push away from the table because it’s a little too hard for my emotions today.  No, I get to push in, dig in, persevere a little longer because this is my purpose and I have come into this hour, that I might undergo it. 

 

I am by no means, saying that my current storm; struggle, issue or whatever you want to call it is anything like Jesus preparing to go to the Cross.  I am not even that foolish or delusional to believe it is anything like what Jesus suffered, but I am open enough to know that the Bible is a Living Word, which means, it is alive to my daily needs.   I believe that since the Bible is a life giving word that the struggles that I entered into today can be met with the Word of God.   I believe that God can take a verse like John 12:27 and show me the healing power it has for my needs today.

I can say to God, and did say to God today, Now my soul is troubled and distressed, and what shall I say?  Father, save me from this hour (of trial and agony)?  But it was for this very purpose that I have come to this hour (that I might undergo it).

My soul and mind were troubled, heavy and distressed today.  I was feeling very emotional about the direction that my life has gone in over the past couple months, and feeling very uncertain about my future.  I can understand this verse as I have lived this verse many a day, but normally I wouldn’t have come to the end of this day and say, but Father, I get it, this is my purpose.    I understand that you can’t remove this situation from me, because this is a situation that I need to walk through.  I need this to change me, to remove more of me and insert more of you. 

John 3:30 comes to mind where John says He must increase, but I must decrease (He must grow more prominent; I must grow less so.)   I know that to remove something is painful.  It’s not an act that is going to be pleasant and enjoyable; it’s going to be painful, as most change is.    What I am not going to do is ask God to save me from this, because he has given me the opportunity to be changed in this moment.  He has given me the chance to remove more of me and become more like him. 

When we come into a place of darkness or a painful time in life, we must try to search our hearts for the reason why the moment is so distressing for us.  Are we adding to the pain, like I was today, by allowing myself to live in self-pity for the day.  Are we trying to bypass something that needs to happen in our lives to make us better and that’s why we are struggling?  Try to locate the reason for the struggle and take it to God. 

You won’t be asking God to save you from this hour, from this pain, or from this situation, but you can ask God to reveal to you what you need to learn from this time, so that you never have to repeat the moment.   We can ask God to aid us in the moment, and to allow the Holy Spirit to bring us comfort and the correct words for us to pray. 

Every day is a learning moment, every trial we enter is given, yes, given, to us to change us into the person we are purposed to be.  We have the choice as to how we are going to rise to the occasion.  Are we going to do like I did today and battle it every step of the way, only to have ended up in tears, or are you going to say OK, God, you have given me this opportunity and now please show me what to do with it.   We have the power of Jesus living inside of us, each and every one of us, so if we have the Power of the Man who hung on the Cross, we have the Power to push through our emotions and come out just like Christ did, Victorious!!