Keep Fighting!!!

Life will sometimes swallow you up whole and then spit you out.  There are times when you think that you are coasting along fine, and out of nowhere a wave will knock you down, and then hold you under, until your breathe is no longer.  It is in those moments we are to turn to God to seek solace and comfort, but what happens when God is silent, what direction are you to go in during those times.

This is where I am right now, in this very moment.  I feel as if God has pushed the mute button and I am left to seek within myself for the motivation to go on.  I am not speaking about going on in my life, physically, but emotionally and spiritually. 

There are times when I am riding the wave, like I would imagine a surfer feels, and going strong and steady in my faith.  Then times where I feel that I am on top of my mountain and praising God for getting me to this place, them out of no where BAM... I am knocked to the bottom again.

I wonder why some days your faith is shaken to the point of being lost, wondering if you ever had faith to start out with.  Was everything just a hallucination or dream?   Did I conjure up these ideas for my life out of the desperation to have a purpose?

Walking in the wilderness is not a time of celebration and rejoicing, but a time of becoming naked and revealed.  It's a time of great sorrow and for me has been extremely painful.  I feel the layers of my life being stripped off of me, and the pain of being exposed and vulnerable is more than I can bare.

But God...

These are two words that I am desperately trying to seek solace in and holding on with a grasp tighter than I have ever imagined I was able to have.  My fingers are white from trying to keep a hold of my Faith that satan is trying so desperately to steal.

I know in my heart that God is Able, God is willing, and God will prevail, but the knowledge of those times have not reached my mind.

My mind that has been corrupted by the lies of satan for years.  The trash pit that he has decided to dump all of his of lies and manipulation into for years.  I have a battle before me unlike none I have ever know, and the small amount of faith that I have been given from God, is being tested by a force that is evil.

There are no words, emotions, embraces that can fix this but Gods. 

Jesus Christ is our Healer, our Protector, our Redeemer and in those things I grasp for my life.

This fight that I am in is not only with satan but also within myself.  Handing over the control and surrendering to the will of my God.  You would think it would be easy to say to God, here, here is my life, here have it, and do with it what you choose, but this is not easy for me.  This is the hardest thing I have ever attempted to do.

When God feels gone, quiet and that His face is not shining on you, in those moments, in those hours, that is when we must dig in and decide we will Seek His Face, until we find it!

I am sharing these feelings today, just in case anyone else is battling a struggle like mine.  For anyone else that is fighting satan himself for the faith that God has deposited into our hearts at our creation.  For anyone who feels lost, lonely, scared, has a doctor's report to face, has lost a loved one or has been abandoned by a loved one...

For all of you I want you to know, I understand and feel your pain.  I feel your desperation and I stand with you in the faith, that we have been given by our Creator, our Healer, our Friend and our Comforter.  The one who knows what is to come and what has happened.  The one who has the answers for every question and the love for every broken piece of you.

I stand with you seeking, waiting, striving to break through from the wave that has come crashing down.

Let's lift each other up in prayer, let's loudly and boldly, have the strength to persevere and push through these times.  Let's show the devil who our God is and what He has created us to be! 

We are more than conquerors through Christ Jesus.  We are the Head and not the tail, We are loved by the God of thee Impossible and we too,  just like the cross that He hung on, we too will rise again!

In Numbers 6:24 There is a prayer, a blessing, a hope that was given to us.  Let's cling to these words today, and every day after, knowing that our God is a Strong and ABLE God.  He is the God of restoration, of deliverance or transformation and there is nothing NOTHING in this world that is to hard for Him to conquer.

The Lord bless you and watch, guard and keep you; (25) The Lord make His face to shine upon and enlighten you and be gracious (kind, merciful, and giving favor) to you; (26) The Lord lift up His (approving) countenance upon you and give you peace (tranquility of heart and life continually).  (27) And they shall put My name upon the Israelites, and I will bless them.