This little light of mine!

I recently attended a funeral and viewing for a dear friend of mine.  This funeral was nothing like I have ever experienced, and to be honest, I wouldn’t have been able to imagine this funeral in my mind. 

Here is a bit of a back story on my friend.  She was 24 years old than me, has children older than me and has lived!   Her passing was very sudden and has been very difficult for me to process and make a reality.  She was not only my friend, she was my security blanket, in a way, she protected me from the world, and most importantly, from myself.

Now, I say that, tongue and cheek, I wasn’t a physical harm to myself or anyone else, but she was my covering in life.  Her friendship filled me in ways, I didn’t even know I needed, and she came at a perfect time in my life.  We spent countless hours on the phone discussing our lives and would speak five to six times a day, so you can begin to see the significance this woman played in my life.

She changed me… forever!

When I was getting ready to attend the funeral, I was hoping that I was going to be taken to “church” instead of a boring “typical” funeral service.  My friend was anything but typical, so a normal funeral would never do her justice.  She had a heart for God and would let anyone know it, and if you didn’t like it, that’s on you, but she’s not changing for nobody!   She understood me in ways no one else ever has!

This service had me laughing, crying, smiling, clapping, dancing, ugly crying and praising God.  This service was a testament to the life she led.  She wasn’t perfect, she made many, many mistakes, but the one thing she knew, and knew it to the core of her being, was that God loved her.    She had faith that could move a mountain, and from what I hear, just about did!  She held on to the word of God, and through that, I was affected, and transformed, by her diligence and deep rooted love.

Tonight when I read Matthew 5:4 I thought of my friend.  I thought of the many times I would tell her, if only I could have your faith.  If only I could believe the way you believe, and trust the way you trust. 

Verse four states, Blessed and enviably happy (with a “happiness produced by the experience of God’s favor and especially conditioned by the revelation of His matchless grace) are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted.

This verse to me is how I feel about her attitude towards the Lord, how the Lord did indeed bless her, and how He comforted her, and will comfort me.  When I read this I thought of her laughter during painful moments of life, how she would tell me over and over again, have faith, just have the faith, that God will do this for you.   That was who she was.  She had the faith that God would take care of her, because He always did. 

My friend experienced a lot more with God, than I have experienced, so far in my walk with Him, so our experience of His greatness is not on equal footing.  She experienced His miracles for twenty plus more years than I have, so she has had more time to grow her faith in God.  Where my faith is hobbling along, often tripping over itself trying to learn which way to go.

I was trying to achieve something, level or experience with God, that I hadn’t earned through trial and error and time put in.  I haven’t earned my stripes so to speak, but she had.  She has scrapped her knee more times than she would ever like to mention building her relationship with God, and that’s what I must do as well.

While verse four is a verse that lifts our spirits and gives us comfort right where we are, we can’t expect verse four to comfort us at the same level that it would comfort a person with a  seasoned relationship with God.   I was expecting the same blessings, grace and comfort that my friend had experienced in her life, without putting in the time with God to achieve it.

We are not going to establish, grow or ripen our relationship with God, or anyone for that matter, by wishing.  I am not going to wake up tomorrow and say I wish I had a relationship with you God that my friend had, after 63 years of serving you.  God’s going to laugh at me and say, you have to go through what she went through, and she had gone through, to get what she got.

God will love us and comfort us, and give us favor, where we are, but it’s going to be equal to your relationship with Him.  It’s going to be an equal relationship, so what you deposit, you will receive, but don’t plan on advancement without your investment.  God doesn’t work on a layaway plan.  God works on payment of Faith and Grace.  You receive by how much you have and what you plan to do with what you have.

I know that God is comforting me in my time of mourning for me dear friend, but He is only doing what I allow Him to do.  It works both ways.  I get what I give.   

My friend gave all of herself to God and He used her to serve His people, and serve she did.   She served Him, His people and people who have yet to know Him.  She had a ripple effect that changed many lives and the trajectory of their lives, I know she did mine.

While I stood there in the pew clapping my hands, with tears streaming down my face, singing this little light of mine, I am going to let it shine… I watched her casket being escorted down the hallway and I thought to myself, she is this song.   This song is perfect for sendoff, for her celebration of life.  It’s simplistic.  It speaks of love, obedience, fighting and diligence and that was her.

Her little light, that small flicker of light that God put in her heart for Him, she let that light shine and she let it shine brightly, boldly and lovingly.   Her little light, that one little light, showed hundreds if not thousands of people that God is Able… if you give Him you!

God is Able to take that light and make it shine so brightly that the condition of your heart brings envy to those around you and comfort to your soul!  God is Able...

This little light of mine, I am going to let it shine, This little light of mine, I am going to let it shine, This little light of mine, I am going to let it shine, Let it shine, let it shine, let it shine….